Thursday's the big day. First time on a plane - I'll have to have an extra Budweiser for breakfast that day. They'd better not be planning to stuff me in a suitcase for the trip. I need to be free. Otherwise, how am I going to work my charm on any of the fine lady stewardesses? They need to learn of the sweetness that is Llama Love.
Seriously, though, China? I have a feeling I might be contracting some yellow fever, if you know what I mean. Those sweet sweet geishas. I have some needs they can attend to, if you know what I mean. I'm not a racist. I'll dish out the love to any willing lady - even the fatties. Fatties need love too.
I hope that they don't make me eat any weird ass food over there. I'm not into the seafood vibe. I'm a llama for Chrisakes. I eat grass. And you can tell me that tofu is made from soybeans, but that doesn't make it any less gross.
Hey, how do you say, "I am rich. Please have sex with me" in Chinese? Anybody? I need to be prepared.
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